


Ablaze

by DarkSilverWings



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future Fish, Angst, But also, Fire, M/M, Nightmares, Spontaneous Combustion, Supernatural Elements, or appear briefly, rest of the characters are mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-27 04:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16211084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSilverWings/pseuds/DarkSilverWings
Summary: Set my skin on fire, douse my heart in flames, shield me from the heat, and together we are ablaze.---Basically spontaneous combustion AU





	1. Prologue: Unprecedented

Prologue: Unprecedented  
Nanase Haruka/Matsuoka Rin

Haruka's dreams are normally either empty or vague. He can sleep for eight hours without a single dream or only remember water and splashes from another, which Makoto has told him is very like him. Sleeping is, to him, just something that his body needs to do and that he couldn't care less about. Haruka is the kind of person that dozes off in the bathtub without realising, for which he's been made fun of by Rin many times, but he doesn't really care.   
After all, he dreams of water.

Haruka's normal absolute lack of any real vividity in his dreams is what makes this particular dream feel so real.  
He's crouching, hands on a board below him, a voice counting down from three and then just as it hits one, a sound like a split second jet aeroplane tears through the air beside him, screeching and grating against his ears so hard he can't even jump into the water. And as he falls, a weighted drowning feeling comes over him and the surface of the water is painted in reds. The feeling of suffocating is what wakes him up. He's shaken, obviously, because this is the first time he's ever had a dream he could remember and caused anything so intense in him. He can still see the water surface streaked in crimsons and scarlets, but fragmented, like through a hazy glass plane. He so desperately wants to write it off as a nonsensical nightmare, for his conscience.

When a week passes without event, Haruka manages to convince himself the vividity of the moment had been feverish, and technically it had still just been him falling into water. And he's immediately proven wrong by the dream that tears into his brain now. A sleeping Haruka can only see black around him, but his head still hurts so something must be happening. And from the darkness then he sees a colour. Red, it's hair, and there's a face slowly appearing and dripping black and red blood from it's pitch black eyes along with the terrified gasp of an open mouth.   
It's distorted, insane even, definitely not a normal sight and _definitely,_  completely, _undoubtedly_  terrifying. The figure reaches for him, outstretched shaking hands that he can't run from; he wants to tear off his legs to escape from this insane creature, it's wailing filling the air around them as if it had heard his fear. It drops to it's knees before it reaches him, scratching nails against the floor, it's echoing call unceasing. And then it turns up.

"Help me"

Haruka jolts in bed, a shudder running through his spine and wonders if he should even try to sleep some more after that.  
But exhaustion wears off the terror so he falls into a dreamless rest soon enough. 

The next time he meets Rin, Nagisa is also around, it's in a bakery and the middle of the afternoon.   
"Hm? What's wrong, Haru?" Rin asks when Haru squints at him strangely, trying to place something that isn't quite there. He shakes his head as a response and Rin shrugs it off with a smile, sipping his coffee and matching Nagisa's rambling conversation as they start up again. They order breads and cream puffs and Rin complains about sweetness and calories as Nagisa brushes him off and Haru just stares, stares, trying to piece together what's bothering him today about Rin's face because he's never normally bothered by it.

"Haru-chan, all you've done today is stare at Rin-chan. Talk to us, Haru-chan!"  
"I have not," he denies, fixing his flat glare on Nagisa who grins ear to ear as Rin blushes, clearing his throat, "So, Haru, tell us what you've been working on?" And he has enough stories of artwork and to keep them satisfied till they leave. They do, eventually and after many topic changes, decide to walk home from the bakery because they can walk almost the whole way together. Which they do, amidst Nagisa's upbeat laughter and Rin's jovial comments, Haruka is beyond satisfied with today. And then they reach the fork, and Rin goes with him, waving to Nagisa even though his own house is a different direction; that satisfaction tries to turn into a warm buzz, but ends up as electric jolts, and not in the good way this time.

"Rin, you don't have to see me off."  
"I know, but the station isn't far."  
The truth is Haruka's been feeling uneasy around Rin. Sick, rather; blurry vision and shock at times, fear at others, both emotions he's never before associated with Rin, but now somehow has to.   
"I'll see you later, Haru," Rin smiles a little, stopping at the bottom of the staircase and Haruka turns. His tired smile holds until Haruka sends one back, but then Rin opens his mouth and it's just fear. The flash, the dream, comes to him in superposition so hard he can swear Rin's pouring tar from his mouth.  
 _That_  was _him._

That night, Haruka dreams of crumbling, of a Rin, burnt out and exhausted, crying quietly as his tears fall into the grey material of his pants. And it's all grey, the floor, the walls, his skin, his clothes. Everything, but Rin's hair. That is red like blood and dripping like the tears onto the floor where everything loses colour so little at a time and it scares Haruka so much he doesn't sleep for days. It sure is a sight he's never seen before, and one he'd never like to see again. Makoto comments that he looks tired, asks if he's sleeping enough and doesn't push too much when Haruka shrugs in response. But at least Makoto isn't dripping tar, he's grateful Rei and Nagisa aren't bleeding sticky and sick onto the pavement.

He doesn't know if he can look at Rin and not see that so he backs up into a corner and claims he's unwell, won't meet him or talk to him because he's drowning in his own paranoia. In a flourish of late night terror he manages to paint a vague piece of art that looks decent enough for display so that's one display done for his manager but the panic remains with him. 

The work he has to do turns into empty space for his mind to scream, turns into dark and unsettling because that's all he sees and he's terrified to go to sleep. He doesn't know what he could dream of next, if his dreams could even get more vivid than this; if these nightmares will ever vanish. The fear stays in his bones, loans shivers to his fingers, eats his mind from the inside out and keeps him up every night. He won't talk to Makoto because there's no way Makoto wouldn't notice his current state, the others are busy and he cannot talk to Rin. He can't. He wants to, he really does but he can't.

Between his fifth and sixth cup of coffee in the day, some two weeks since he's met anyone other than the delivery guy, the doorbell rings. Haruka hasn't ordered art supplies, food or any necessities because he's stocked up, so instantly he's worried. He could've mixed up dates, ordered for an early date, impulse bought something expensive.  
But he opens the door and it's Rin, tugging at his police cap. His hair is free of it's ponytail and he looks like he's been running, and Haruka's heart bleeds into his chest. 

"Hey, I heard f- huh- Haru?!"  
He steps back as Rin does forward, afraid of the fear he'll see in his eyes, but Rin doesn't flinch. "What the fuck- god, Haru have you looked in a mirror?"  
Rin's hand raises, soft and cold to press Haruka's cheek, then the other hand before swooping thumbs over his dark circles.  
"Have you slept? Eaten? Gone out for a walk?"  
Haruka's still far too stunned to do anything but stare because god, has Rin gotten  _even better_   _looking_? 

"What on earth have you been doing?!" Rin, however, takes his silence as admittance and clearly is not taking any excuses. So Haruka keeps quiet, keeps his eyes open to trace the planes of Rin's face even though he knows them; it's like he's forgotten. The door rattles shut and Rin walks into the kitchen, having visited enough to know how to use it, and Haruka can finally ask him to leave.  
"Rin, I'm fine-"  
"You are not. Go look in the mirror."  
"I have looked, I'm okay-"  
"You are not, dammit Haru, stop lying to me."  
His chest aches because Rin looks so sad, so upset when he glances up that Haruka's qualms about him not being around are shucked out the window.

And a trick of the light makes it seem like Rin's set himself on fire while lighting the stove, so obviously, Haruka screams.  
"Haru? Haru?! What- what's wrong?"  
The Rin that rushes to him with wide eyes and panicked motions is very much intact and sans fire, but the fear just then had been so real.   
"It's- it's nothing I just thought I saw something."  
"Haru, you screamed. You never scream, ever. Will you  _please_  tell me what's going on?"  
Rin sounds desperate and afraid but he's trying to sound patient, to keep his distance. And Haru hates that, hates the distance so he just tugs and holds onto Rin's hands, resolute.  
"...Haru?"  
" _I'm having nightmares._ " 

Rin exhales, slow and measured, worry lacing through his voice and very breath, "Nightmares about what?"  
"...turn the stove off and come, I'll get some drinks. I need to talk to you."  
Haruka isn't one to admit to or ask for someone's presence when he has a problem of any sort, let alone demand it, so the shock is reasonable.   
Rin turns off the stoves and calls a takeout place, wasting no time to get to Haruka's sitting room where he's waiting, two cups of cold juice on the table.   
He sits, cautiously, waiting, watching Haru for any signs of an expression change.

Haruka, who's normally concerned with the scrutiny, is too busy staring back today. And watching Rin conjures the image of the hollow eye sockets, dark blood and every nightmare his brain has twisted up for him.  
"I- my nightmares- they're  _you_."  
Rin blinks, clearly pondering what that means and then Haru feels the possible misunderstandings of that statement creep up his throat like acid.  
"...me?"  
"No,  _no_   _Rin_  I don't mean- I mean they're- they just-"  
"Haru, hey, whatever it is I'm here all day. Take your time."  
Haruka nods, sighing heavily and taking a sip of the juice he'd poured. And Rin watches patiently, waiting for him to break the silence once more but there's no pretence. So he tries,  
"I'm having nightmares and they're all of you getting hurt."


	2. Fuel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip over the edge of acceptable, because I can only ever want you here  
> Push and pull over selfishness, because we are only fire

Fuel  
Nanase Haruka/Matsuoka Rin

Rin had spent hours trying to convince Haruka it was fine, that he was okay, that nothing had happened in weeks that could even be considered dangerous. And once they'd eaten and talked and Rin had stayed over, his presence in the same room seemed to ward off the ill thoughts; he could just open his eyes and there Rin would be, healthy and breathing.   
So he sleeps.

The nightmares don't vanish immediately, he'll still see wild flashes of twisted things, a broken jaw, a burning kitchen, Rin's hands go up in flames, a jail cell, screaming, crying, but each time he startles awake, Rin is right there. Sometimes he stirs when Haruka jolts, rubbing at his eyes and asking for what had scared him, sitting up as Haruka mumbles the vague flashes of the receding dreams and only lying back down again when Haruka himself is starting to doze off.  
Of course the receding dreams staple their entirety into his memory by the time he's awake, but it's always at least pushed back the more he tells himself Rin is fine, Rin is fine, he's okay. He is, he should be, and every evening he confirms that as Rin walks in. Walks in like it's  _his_  house. It should be. It  _should_. If Haruka had it his way it would be, but that's wishful thinking he has no time for. As of now, he's just ridiculously grateful. 

Rin goes to work from his place and returns to it; his to and fro changes, and with it, Haruka's health. The perpetual grogginess in his head trickles to a mild background thread, and every time he does have a nightmare, he'd get up and Rin's face would be right there so he'd just go back to sleep.   
He never sees Rin during the day either, he's up and dressed and out before Haruka even stirs, and a covered breakfast always sits at the table when he does wake up, but he's never upset about it. His art progresses enough that his agent is at ease finally, he's able to produce good work and get commissions done on time, his schedule hammers steadily back into place because he's finally sleeping enough. Rin never protests, he's just there unconditionally for Haru to lean on, and the collection of supplies he has with him is silent proof that he's willing to stay as long as he needs to. So maybe the nightmares had been worth it for how long Rin is with him  _now_. And  _maybe_  it had just been because of a slump or art block. 

He doesn't see the need for a futon anymore, so he wraps it up, now a good two weeks since Rin started commuting from his place, and he puts the futon away.  
Of course, Rin is surprised to say the least. "Haru? Is this your way of telling me to leave?" He asks, only half joking; Haru can tell he's upset by that possibility. "No, I just thought you could sleep in the same bed as me," Haru tries, cool and composed, heart beating louder than a thunderstorm. "Sure," Rin answers, relieved but visibly embarrassed by the idea. He doesn't ask why or what brought it on, and again it makes Haruka feel special just that he's okay with this and so unquestionably supportive. Rin has always been ready to give everything for his friends, Haru just wishes he were someone more than just a friend. 

Sleeping in the same bed didn't turn out to be as awkward as they'd thought it would be, it's soothing and their body warmth radiates off and into each other, so much that it's comforting to both of them and not just Haru like it was meant to be.   
Haru wishes so often to be able to cling to Rin in the mornings when he gets up to go, wishes for him the whole day until he returns late in the evening; and not really so he can sleep. That's exactly when he realises the nightmares have probably gone away. They'd had no meaning or pretence or anything really other than a terrifying amount of sheer morbidity that left him trembling on the ground at the thoughts themselves, so perhaps he was just having a bad funk? Perhaps now it's over?  
It's selfish not to tell Rin but he doesn't, because he wants Rin to stay longer with him. There are many chances to tell him, but every time he goes to bed and Rin's face is the last thing he sees he just can't do it. His warmth stays on the mattress in the morning, lingering body heat and it's the closest Haru gets to waking up to Rin; the guy's always busy.  
Even on a Sunday he gets up to run and makes food and coffee before starting up on his research on some case or the other. 

Sometimes they spend time together, watching a movie if Rin has time or just talking, sometimes they play cards or cook together. And Rin notices that Haru is better now.  
What used to be jarring nightmares that would need hours to calm down from is now quiet nights of good sleep and the life of an old married couple.   
Rin notices, clearly, because he's not so adamant on being near Haru when he sleeps anymore or them talking about Haru's nightmares anymore; and most of all because he works more hours.   
He looks exhausted, but only if you stare, which Haruka does a lot. At first glance he seems the same, but his eyes have slight rings under them, his posture is a little off and he makes far too much coffee in the mornings for one person. He never once complains about it though, and makes sure to ask and check on Haruka daily and multiple times, concern left unmasked on his face; which only serves to make Haruka feel worse. 

\---

Haruka shouldn't be surprised when Sousuke comes knocking on a Saturday, but he is. He shouldn't be, Sousuke is always with Rin, of course he  _knows_  Rin is here, and yet Haruka is surprised because  _Rin_  doesn't seem to have known.  
"Sousuke?"  
"Rin- your landlord said you were here, where is your phone?"  
"It's dead, I haven't charged it yet," Rin looks admittedly guilty about this, and Sousuke looks ticked off. That sentiment melds with concern that oozes off his words, "Can't you tell me when you're going to be busy? We're partners, Rin, I need to know these things. Radio me if you have to, I always have my comm too."  
The word partner stings at Haruka, though he knows it's just police force work. But he doesn't react more than a twitch of the eyebrow in response, especially after Sousuke just barged in no pretence.

"Do you...want coffee? I've bought it so it's alright."  
"If you don't mind," Sousuke nods in his direction and Haruka shrugs, clearly done observing, but his dismissal only goes so far because Rin does make the best coffee when he's trying to.  
He sits with Sousuke as kitchenware clinks near the counter, Rin nudges some hair behind his ear as he draws cream shapes into the cups, and the tension in the room never drops. Sousuke is half-glaring at him, so of course he glares back, and they're both on high alert from the presence alone.   
Usually, they're civil enough to get along at least on their mutual love for Rin in one way or another, but this time Sousuke genuinely seems upset, as if Haru had done or said something to warrant only distaste as a response.  
And Rin, obviously, is completely aware of the whole thing and says nothing.

Sousuke's cup has a little four-leaf clover drawn in it, and Haru's has a small fish, which he thinks is adorable.   
Rin and Sousuke exchange small talk as they drink, and Haruka tunes everything out until they both stand and make towards the door.  
"Yamazaki."  
"Nanase."  
Rin promises to call and Sousuke leaves, the most eventful disruption of the quiet Saturday, and one that Haruka later wishes were the worst disruption a Saturday could have.  
But it's not.

Sousuke grows annoyingly more present at his house, constantly checking in on Rin like a doting mother, he actually ends up there more frequently than Makoto, who's work has eased up a little. Between Sousuke and his hounding publicity agent, Haruka is on the last thread of his patience.  
"Haru? Is sandwiches okay for you?"  
And there's the last thread himself.  
Should Rin have not been around, he really would've isolated himself for a few weeks to kill the swarming panic in his head, but Rin's presence itself calms him down.  
All other disturbances be damned, it's almost worth Sousuke's constant nagging just to have Rin around.  
"What's wrong?" he doesn't try to guess like Makoto or read his mind, he  _asks_.   
Theres something about Rin, when he asks anything, he just wants to agree, tell him everything, his concern is so genuine and so open that he can't help it. So Haru tells him, everything that bothers him, and Rin offers his own breed of words and comfort, a hug if need be; nobody is around to question if he holds on too long.

Haru wakes up the next morning with his fingers entangled in Rin's and a smile forces it's way onto his face as he burns the image into his mind. This moment, should he be able to capture, would be his favourite art piece  by a country mile.   
Rin's lashes flutter as he wakes, a rare few minutes after Haruka, and is thankfully far too tired to pay any heed to their fingers. Had he not been, Haruka has no doubt he would've played off embarassment with something like a yelp or a violent gesture.   
It's Rin's day off today, and he doesn't jet out of bed for a run immediately, he just lays there watching Haruka. This would be the perfect second to stop time forever.  _So_ , of _course_  there's a loud rap at the door. They both ignore it, but the person seems persistent so eventually Rin gets up to open it. Haruka should -it's his house after all - but he just couldn't make himself break that moment.   
The bed is still warm, the sheets left imprinted with Rin's body, Haruka's hand still tingling with the ghost of his presence, so he doesn't move. He commits every aspect of today into his mind before he even tries to get up, and when he does he stops immediately. Rin hasn't come back, the shower isn't on and there's voices behind the door.

"-say you couldn't do this everyday!"  
"But you are saying that! You are saying I can't!"  
"I'm saying you shouldn't have to! I-"  
"I'm off today, Sousuke. Go. We'll talk at the station tomorrow."  
Sousuke? Here? Now?  
Their voices that had been silent, in what must be Rin's sweetly considerate method of trying not to wake Haruka up, increase in volume once Rin says this.  
"And that's exactly my point! You won't even acknowledge any of this!"  
"Any of what, Sousuke?! I'm sick and tired of you acting like Haru is a bad person!"  
"Nanase is a fine person! I have no problem with him I have a problem with you killing yourself to help him!"  
Haruka jumps, tripping and stumbling out the door that slams into it's frame after him, "-Killing himself?"  
Both Rin and Sousuke, who had been standing in the doorway, turn to him but it's Rin that gets his bearings first.  
"He's just talking shit, Haru! Ignore him, I'm completely fine."  
"No you're not, you fucking idiot! You're sleep deprived, overworking, probably have a fever, and you've skipped lunch entirely for the last week and a half."

Haruka's eyes go wide in shock, and he can't believe he hadnt noticed the stress Rin had on his shoulders, his unnatural warmth and how his frame seemed smaller when they hugged last. "You're- you're not fine if you're killing yourself, Rin-"  
"I'm not! Would both of you shut the fuck up! I'm perfectly fine!" He's indignant but the loudness of his normal anger is absent. He's so exhausted he can't even change the volume of his voice. And Haruka hadn't noticed but  _goddammit,_   _ **Yamazaki**_   _had_.   
"You can't stay this far away from the precinct on duty! The commute is going to kill you if the sleep deprivation doesn't drive you off the damn road first!"  
"I'm driving there just fine, Sousuke. It's only maybe an hour from here."  
"With no traffic."  
"So what?"  
"Your place is fifteen minutes away on a bad day."  
Sousuke snarls, exasperated and clearly done with trying to argue but he does.  
"You can't seriously be telling me you think this is worth it! Rin! You're a cop!"  
"Let me decide what's worth anything, Sousuke! Haru needed my help!"

Haruka's heart pangs but he does at least marginally agree with both of them.  
"Yeah? Well maybe you should've realised we needed help too by the giant piles of stacked up papers we have in our offices."  
"It's not the same! And I do my work!"  
Sousuke's eyes turn dangerous, he stomps forward so menacingly it freaks even Haruka out and now he's full-on yelling.  
"No you don't, that's why I'm even here! You're being taken off the case because you're so damn useless!"  
Rin's sputtering dies out as his back hits the wall, and nobody ever has likely seen Sousuke this angry.  
"You can't tell me you love this job and then be a burden to all of us."  
Rin, god, Haru wants to hug him and tell him that's not true, Rin's voice breaks a little as he tries to speak but it doesn't work, and Yamazaki's angry gaze doesn't shake for a split second.

  
And Rin doesn't move much until he jerks, and screams back loud enough that the walls seem to shake.  
But whatever he'd been trying to say is drowned out by the burning, ripping sound that cuts the air when he screams, and the air shimmers before anything actually happens.

  
And he sets himself on fire.  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos help me write s'more! I hope you enjoyed this <3

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this forever ago and just decided to post it, hope you guys enjoy it! If you like it please let me know, I'll post some more :)  
> Comments and kudos are hella appreciated!


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